141113
by doroniasobi
Summary: alternative title: help, my grades are good but my complexion is not — Kabaji, OC, and lots of (unfortunate) exaggeration


**notes** look ma, i gave her a name! written mostly because i'm trying to get away from my nanowrimo. also because women are a pain in the ass, sometimes. but they get better! maybe. also, i'm getting way too lazy with my titles.

**warning** loony OC. also, please to be keeping in mind that this was basically an accumulation of all of the whinging i've been doing since the start of november.

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><p><strong>141113;<strong>

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><p>Kabaji Munehiro is only Asami's fourth boyfriend, ever. Her friends don't really understand; she's pretty, her legs are long, and with a body like that—why go for a nobody? Asami rolls her eyes and jams her lip gloss in her pocket and says duh, it's because she's trying to attract the attention of the other boys in the tennis club, isn't it obvious?<p>

The excuse she gives Kabaji is, "Because I want to have the upper hand." With Kabaji, it should be easy. Kabaji is dumb and big and he looks like a gorilla. He doesn't say anything to her, even as she turns her hips and walks out of his sight.

The first time he does say something to her, she's so surprised she almost screams.

"If you're going to say something, at least give me a warning!" she scolds.

He stares blankly back at her. Asami crosses her arms and huffs impatiently.

"Fine, what is it you wanted to say?"

"…Are you happy with this?"

Raising her perfectly arched eyebrows, she says, "Of course I am! I'm just using you, you know. Don't worry, this is just an experiment. It'll be quick and painless and no one will get hurt, I promise." She pats him lightly on the shoulder. "By the way, do you have Atobe-kun's phone number?"

She ends up harassing Atobe-kun every single day for a week, until he finally gets fed up with her and blocks her number. The next week is the most depressing week of her entire life and she spends most of it being made fun of by her friends and fixing her eye shadow, trying to protect what's left of her ego. She's so restless and fidgety during class that the teacher calls her out on her behaviour and sends her out into the hallway.

"This is a place of learning," she's told. "I don't care if you get the highest marks in your class, but do you expect your marks to improve when you're spending majority of your time deciding which colour nail polish looks better on you?"

Asami opens her mouth to retort because—because how _dare_ he speak to her like that! Doesn't he know who she is? Does it really matter what she's doing in class when she's got good grades?

He leaves her out in the hallway to think about what she's done wrong. Her face is scrunched up in a disbelieving frown when Kabaji appears around the corner with a stack of loose papers in his hand, heading her way. He looks briefly in her direction but she notices this and snaps.

"What? What are you looking at?"

Kabaji stops in his steps.

"You think this is funny, don't you! I know you do. This is humiliating! What if other people see me out here like this?"

He looks her up and down. Then, he continues on his way. Asami stares after him, mouth open.

"Well? Don't you have anything to say?" she asks incredulously.

Kabaji stops again and he turns to face her. Their eyes don't meet. "Not really." Turns back around.

She stomps her feet when he's finally out of sight and groans, frustrated and feeling awful because nothing goes right in her life, ever, and it's just… nothing's fair! Asami goes home that day feeling particularly murderous and tells her parents she wants to study abroad.

"Sure," her father says, creasing his brow in confusion. "But why?"

"No one here understands me," she wails. "I'm a failure at _everything_."

Her brother walks in, unamused by her pity act. "You've got violin awards covering your walls and trophies in every corner of your room for competitions you've since the age of three, and _you're_ the failure?"

"You'll always be a star to me," her father says, trying to placate her.

Her brother rolls his eyes. "Oh, right, and you're also Daddy's Little Girl."

"None of that matters," Asami says, sniffling. "I want to move. I need to get away. I need to see the world."

"Nonsense," her mother cuts in. "You're only sixteen. I'll just give you money for a new pair of shoes and you'll settle just fine."

"Noooo!"

"Cry more," her brother deadpans, and kicks a pillow at her head.

.

Not long after the 'worst week of her life', it is followed by the 'most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to her, _ever_'. Asami calls Kabaji and meets him in front of the school library after classes.

"Quick, hold my hand, we have to look like we're dating," she tells him, and holds her hand out.

Kabaji observes it. "Pink," he says.

"Yeah, I went with the pink nail polish this week. Isn't it cute?" But that's not the point. "Never mind that, quick, grab my hand! When Atobe-kun walks by I need him to see this so he'll fall for my beauty and my charming good looks. Also so he'll unblock my number." She fusses around with the collar of her school uniform and looks at him worriedly. "Do I look okay? Enough to seduce him?"

Kabaji grunts.

"You're still not holding my hand." She grabs his instead, and wedges it between them.

There are footsteps coming from the other end. "Hey, Kabaji!"

Asami's heart jumps in her throat.

But it's not Atobe, it's just Shishido and Hiyoshi.

"What are you doing here?" Shishido asks. He catches sight of their hands and frowns. "Well, well. Look what we have here."

Kabaji looks down at their hands too, looking almost as confused as Shishido.

"…Girlfriend?" Hiyoshi asks.

Asami sticks her head out from where she's hiding behind Kabaji and nods meekly because _wow_ were their tennis club members so good-looking to begin with? Kabaji still looks confused so she tries to send him a signal. She kicks his ankle. Twice, because she figures, he's pretty thick-skinned. Kabaji grunts in pain, but still doesn't say anything.

"Looks to me like an abusive relationship," Shishido comments, and whistles under his breath. He takes a closer look at Asami's face and squints. "Is that…" He sighs, and shakes his head. "Never mind." He clasps a hand on Kabaji's shoulder. "I just came to tell you that practice is starting. If she hurts you, let me know." Shishido directs his gaze towards her, narrows his eyes, and walks away. Hiyoshi follows after, glancing at her curiously before following him.

She's still squeezing his hand but remembers to let go just in time for her inner fangirl to let herself loose. By now, she's jumping up and down and squealing. "If I'd known all of them were _that_ good-looking…!" Asami whacks Kabaji's shoulder. "Why didn't you _tell_ me? We're dating, we're supposed to tell each other everything!" She flicks a loose strand of hair over her shoulder. "Oh wait of course, I'm probably your first girlfriend, right, Kabaji-kun? Sorry, I forgot. That's all right though, I have plenty of experience and you know what, I've decided to be generous enough to share it with you!" She pauses. "In exchange for getting Atobe-kun to unblock my number, though. Can you do that for me?"

Kabaji blinks.

"Great!" Asami claps her hands together but shrinks away in recoil when Kabaji's large, gorilla-ish hand reaches out to touch her face. "Wait, wait, I don't think we're that far in our relationship yet to be touching each other's faces—!"

His fingers brush gently across her cheekbone.

…Oh. He's gentler than she'd expected him to be.

Kabaji pulls away. She's stuck in a sort-of daze, but when her eyes do manage to finally focus, they zero in on what he's pinching between his fingertips.

"That's…" She squints.

"Eyelash," Kabaji explains helpfully. He's holding a fake eyelash in front of her face, the end still sticky with half-dried glue.

It takes a moment for it to sink in.

"You mean… that was on my face?"

Kabaji nods.

"… The entire time?"

Kabaji's eyes don't meet hers.

She's silent for a very long time. Kabaji's eyes dart towards the clock. He's late for practice. He makes sure to tilt his head forward in a small bow before leaving first, and briefly wonders if it had been a bad idea to point the fake eyelash out.

Moments later, when a shrill scream erupts from the school building, Kabaji is very glad he'd gone first.

.

Asami misses the entire next week of school due to Total Embarrassment—how is she supposed to capture Atobe-kun's heart now?

Well. She isn't.

And she's almost sure of that too, until her father visits her in her room and sits down on her bed, careful to avoid the snotty pieces of tissue lying all over her floor.

"Honey," he starts carefully. "Are you all right?"

"No," Asami wails miserably.

"Your mother wants to tell you that you're overreacting."

"She's old and she's going to die soon anyway so none of this matters to her," she mumbles. "That's why she's saying these things. That's why she's mean!"

"But uh," her father rubs the back of his head nervously, "rumour has it you've got a crush on the Atobe heir."

Sniffle.

"And uh, don't worry dear, I think you've still got a chance?"

It was the wrong thing to say.

Asami sits up suddenly, startling her father, and brushes her hair back from her face. Her eyes are still red-rimmed and swollen, but nothing that a little bit of makeup won't help. She turns to her father.

"I do, don't I?"

He gulps. "Um. Yes?"

That was also probably the wrong thing to say.

She claps her hands. "Call in one of the servants."

Her father scurries out of the room, terrified of what she might have in mind. Minutes later, instead of a maid or a servant, it's her brother that appears in her room, a glare settled in on his face. Asami looks at him passively.

"You'll do," she tells him.

"What do you want," he grumbles out.

"What kind of attitude is that? What kind of manners are those? Your parents must have spoiled you rotten!"

"Mind you, we have the same parents."

She ignores him. "I need you to arrange something for me."

"No."

Asami lets out an offended gasp. "You—you _dare_ defy me?!"

"The same way a helium balloon defies gravity."

"Until it pops."

He pauses. "Touché."

She's almost begging, now. "Please," she says. "I won't ask for anything else, ever!"

He stares at her.

She corrects herself. "I won't ask for anything else for the rest of the week!"

He thinks about it. "What's in it for me?"

"I'll never take money from your bank account again!"

His eyes widen. "You… _what_?!"

"…Please?"

"You—you _stole_ money from me!" He pauses again. "How did you know my pin number?"

"Foolish little brother, don't you think I know the birthday of that girl you had a crush on in the third grade? I know your kind. You're the type of person that doesn't know how to get over things and you've been pining over this girl ever since. I might be high maintenance but I'm not stupid, you know."

His face turns red. "But you—you… you _stole_ my money!"

"No, I, see… your card was there, and—"

"MOOOOOM."

She jumps on him. They spend ten minutes wrestling on the floor of her room until she's finally got him under her, her arms pinning his to his sides. "Okay, okay! I'll do it!" he shouts, gasping for air.

"Good." Asami pauses. "Now apologize to my chipped nail polish and I'll let you go."

He groans.

.

Atobe-kun arrives in a limo, steps out in a classy suit. Kabaji follows suit. Asami smiles pleasantly.

"Welcome," she greets him, fluttering her eyelashes. She's in a beautiful blue dress, and she twirls around a few times just to make sure Atobe-kun can see how beautiful she looks.

"Thank you," he says stiffly. "Why am I here?"

"You are here because it would look terrible to the rest of Japan if you were to not accept a public invitation from one of your family's business partners," she explains smoothly. "You want to save face, that's why you're here." Atobe-kun sighs.

"This is a waste of my time," he says, and means to step back into his limo, but is stopped by Kabaji. "Move, Kabaji."

Kabaji doesn't move.

Atobe furrows his eyebrows. "Kabaji," he says again.

Kabaji lowers his eyes.

"You see," Asami continues to explain, "Kabaji-kun is under my control now."

"You… what have you done to him?"

She hasn't done anything to him, really. Kabaji's just terrified of what _might_ happen to him if he were to go against her orders. Kabaji might look like the oaf next door, but he's certainly not stupid enough to get himself killed by a girl who complains about how awful her complexion looks on an hourly basis.

The worst thing about this, though, is that that's not even an exaggeration.

Kabaji feels like he's being held hostage. It all reminds him of those cliché action movies, where Kabaji is the damsel in distress and it's up to Atobe to save him.

And, well. The villain…

"Go out with me or die by my wrath!"

… Well.

Atobe has no time to deal with this. "No," he says flatly. "Kabaji, we're leaving."

"But—"

"_No_," Atobe says again. "I don't care if your family is a business associate, you have wasted my time tonight by calling me out and if you'll excuse me, which you _will_, I am going to take my leave."

Asami pulls Kabaji aside really quickly. "I thought you said you had this all under control," she hisses in his ear.

Kabaji blinks.

"Did you get him to unblock my number, at least?"

Something clicks in Atobe's head. "_You're_ the one who's been harassing me?" he says incredulously, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

Honesty is the best policy. "…Maybe," Asami admits.

Atobe looks from Asami to Kabaji, and then back to Asami. "What exactly is the relationship between you two?"

"He's madly in love with me," Asami declares very seriously.

Atobe whips his head around to stare at Kabaji in disbelief. "You are?"

Kabaji raises both hands. He's innocent, he swears.

"Of course he is," she scoffs, flipping her hair. "I'm beautiful."

This time, Atobe turns to stare at _her_ in disbelief. "You _are_?"

Asami's mouth falls open, speechless.

Kabaji closes his eyes. This cannot be good.

Atobe sighs. "I'm leaving. Kabaji, let's go."

Kabaji, after a moment's hesitation, follows after him. He takes one last look in Asami's direction. She's slumped to the ground in a state of shock, head bowed forward in disappointment.

"But I'm beautiful," she whispers.

Atobe rolls his eyes and smirks. "But you see," he says, "so am I."

.

To everyone's surprise, she gets over him rather quickly. Her friends crowd around her at school the next day, asking her what she's going to do next.

"Now that you got rejected and you're the talk of the school," one of them starts, but Asami cuts her off.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she says.

"… But you just said that Atobe-kun—"

"I didn't say he _rejected_ me." Asami does not get rejected. Asami is… well, Asami doesn't know what Asami is. But Asami's friends can't know that.

Her companions look at each other, confused. "Okay. Well, what are you going to do now? And what about Kabaji-kun?"

"What _about_ Kabaji-kun?"

"You said before you were going to go out with him to get closer with Atobe-kun," her friends remind her. "What are you going to do about him now?"

She thinks about this. Kabaji-kun is dumb and big and looks a lot like the typical neighbourhood oaf. And while Kabaji still kind of looks gorilla-ish to everyone else, Asami thinks that maybe he looks a little gentler than he'd initially come across as.

"I don't know," she says, surprising herself.

"… You don't know?"

"I don't know," she repeats, frowning at herself. This is a first. Usually Asami _does_ know a thing or two about what she's going to do next (despite Asami's tendencies to blow almost everything out of proportion, she _does_ plan out next steps). If she were to break up with Kabaji-kun, he would be heartbroken. She is his first love, after all. And Asami isn't very sure about heartbreak.

"I guess I could paint his nails," she says aloud, in the middle of class. Everything is better when your nails are painted.

"Ahem."

Asami looks up. Her homeroom teacher is glaring at her and the entire class has their eyes fixed on her.

"What," she asks him.

Talking back to the teacher her earns her another period to stand outside the classroom and reflect on her actions.

Asami purses her lips and crosses her arms. How does she always manage to get herself into these situations? How is this even fair?

From the corner of her eye, she sees Kabaji heading her way, carrying several textbooks in his arms. He sees her and they make eye contact, but doesn't avert his eyes. Furrowing her eyebrows, she waits until he gets closer to speak.

"What are you looking at?"

Kabaji blinks slowly.

Asami taps her foot. "Well?"

She honestly doesn't expect a response, so imagine her surprise when she _does_ get a reply.

"You."

Asami snaps her head up, blinking quickly, but Kabaji is already heading past her and down the hallway. Even after he's out of her sight, Asami's turned in the direction he's gone, and she sighs, observing her fingernails absently.

She really doesn't understand him at all.

.

"You're going to keep seeing him?! But _why_?"

Asami rolls her eyes and flicks her hair out of her eyes. "I told you, I don't know."

Her friend squints at her from behind her glasses. "You've been saying that a lot recently," she accuses her. "Are you sure there's nothing wrong with you? You're not sick or anything, right? Are you sure getting rejected by Atobe-kun hasn't left you all loony and desperate?"

"It hurts me," Asami says, turning to her with a hopeless expression, "to know that this is the type of person you think I am."

"Asami, I've known you since middle school, this is how you've always bee—"

Asami shushes her. "Look," she says, pointing. It's Kabaji, stepping onto the court. He's looking as dumb and expressionless as always, but Asami's kind of used to it, now.

"I'm not here to look at him. I need eye candy." Even as her friend turns to look at the other boys, Asami's gaze is fixed on Kabaji and maybe, maybe there isn't anything she really needs to understand.

Maybe this is something worth holding onto, after all.


End file.
